F A C A D E

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Promise

You said you'd never give up, but in the end you did.
I said that I won't ever love you, but in the end I did.

So seriously why did we have to end up in such a situation in the first place?
Now that we won't even spend a second more looking or talking to each other.
I know I should've realised earlier how things would flow
but I didn't expect you to not keep your word. Now I don't regret I just, just,
maybe I hate myself for not cherishing you and thought that you'd always be
there. And now you're not there anymore I guess I shouldn't look back anymore.

The thing about looking back is not how much it hurts that things
didn't turn out to be how it should be like, it hurts because one of
us did not keep our word and both will soon realise how vague and fragile
relationships can be.

Friday, March 23, 2012

ZiXuan's birthday

it's been good for me yesterday. 2 teachers saw my capability and asked me to take part for a competition for the school and be the leader for my cca in a CIP programme.

it's been good not only because of that. It's also good because of my friendsssssssss.

esp 2/5 people. I really love them.

Morning went well for me today as I was super excited for the surprise for Zixuan.

So excited I think I've gone overboard. Worried at the same time. But it went quite well cus WangShaoFeng they all really cooperate so well with me. It's quite amazing to see this side of them. At the same time was feeling quite guilty cus they kept saying on their birthdays nobody would go to such extend for them. But I got really lost when at 8am kok told me they have a basketball match before school ends. And my plan was @ 1pm. So changing of plans was such an ordeal. I thought I couldn't make it nice anymore. Thanks to people who held on to their birthday wishes till last minute. Really appreciate them. Anyway, so many things affect me today. I swear I was feeling so super nervous during speech day rehearsal I kept checking my phone I'm so worried I'd miss anything important. I swear I was super disappointed with his reaction I guess I went wrong somewhere I don't know where. And I just re-viewed the birthday wish vid made with Joan again and realised I was too crappy. I was disappointed but I don't show. I only went real lost after I came back to school after meeting Sandra for awhile. It's like everything dawned on me at one go. I have nothing else to look forward to and I can't find anybody to talk about what I heard and what I feel and how disappointed I really am.

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I look forward to next week in school. bye.